The Presence of Your Past

Do you ever wonder why you have such a problem letting go of certain foods or bad habits even when you know they are disrupting your fitness objectives? The answer lies in the history of your life.

Let me give you an indirectly related example that I recently had an “aha” moment about in my own personal life.

Two weeks ago, I found the most incredible pair of shoes. These shoes were the answer to all of my foot problems.

I like a flat shoe and although I had a brief period of experiencing how great my feet felt in a flat shoe with the whole minimal running shoe was around, it was short lived. Unfortunately, the fad went away and they are hard to find without an obnoxious elevation in the toe area.

So for years my feet continued to hurt, until just after new years when my wife came out of the Converse store and said “I chose two pairs of shoes for you in there, go try them on. In a “Yes ma’am” fashion, I went into the store and like a good husband, tried them on.

There was this magical moment as I walked around in them as if I had met my soul mate. I was meant to have these shoes, they were my destiny. So I purchased the first pair which came at a shock to my wife, as I typically struggle to spend money on myself, and we headed back home.

I know it, you are asking yourself right now “how could Jason not know about Converse shoes?” and the truth is I was well aware of converse ever since Middle school.

In Middle school I had rather large feet wearing a size 13 shoe. At the time Converse was a popular trend, and I wanted to join in on the fun so I bought this cream (almost yellow) pair of converse that made my feet look absolutely huge! With another trend for us skateboarders being old person slacks (we usually bought at the thrift store) I was able to at least partially hide the massiveness of my feet. Until…wait let me tell the story first.

At this time I had a major crush on Angela Bauer (If you are reading this Angela I bet your laughing) and being the mess of a middle school boy as I was, I had no appropriate way to express this. My mind slips the details of any possible attempt to sweep her off her feet (which would have actually meant me literally accidentally tripping her somehow) except for one fateful evening.

A small group of us including my great friend Kelly Hester (I bet you are reading this) who was kind of acting as my wing woman of sorts, went out for a fun evening of bowling. Angela was also included in this group. I was a nervous wreck to say the least.

As we entered the bowling alley together we all went up to the counter and traded our shoes in for disgusting bowling shoes. I carefully slid my size 13’s to the guy behind the counter and when he returned to give me my bowling shoes, with everyone around me (including Angela), he said these exact words “Here are your boats.” I’m not sure if everyone laughed or not to be honest, because I was pretty much in a state of hyper focused shock where all I could think about is how i’d been exposed for my goofy looking large feet!

I remember nothing else from that evening, but it was officially the last pair of Converse I would wear until the beginning of 2019! This was probably a conscious decision for a year or two but after that, for the next 20 years, I subconsciously prevented myself from buying these shoes out of fear of ridicule from the people around me.

The point of this example is to help you recognize that the decisions you make and often the food you eat or don’t eat, is somehow tied to your past. The cravings you have may be met with an experience you tied to it at that time. For example pancakes may represent the times you and your grandfather went out for breakfast, just the two of you. Or perhaps another example is that when you were a child, your parents forced you to eat every last piece of broccoli on your plate even though you couldn’t stand it at the time and refuse to eat it to this day.

There is a way to correct these behavioral problems reflective of our past, if we are able to identify them. Once identified we have to give them a new meaning in our life, finding something to attach the change to that is more important than our past association. In the example of my shoes, now married with 5 children, what is far more important now is how my feet feel rather than how they look. Honestly, this was easy for me to give the new meaning to Converse shoes. Your situation may be more complex.

No matter how deep rooted your association is, it can be changed. While I cannot provide the specific answer to your situation in this writing, I can tell you that with patience, trust, and continued effort, making the change you need to make is absolutely possible and if I can help you along the way please do not hesitate to ask for help. That is what I am here for.